The Law of Narcissism at Work

This is the second post in my series on applying mental models from Robert Greene’s The Laws of Human Nature to the real, messy world of building a business. In my last post, I spoke about the Law of Irrationality.

Today, I am moving to the next chapter in discussion: The Law of Narcissism.

Greene’s insight is simple: We all exist somewhere on a spectrum of self-absorption. But “Deep Narcissists”, driven by insecurity and ego are different. They wear charm like armor, manipulate emotion, and build false fronts to impress and control others.

Logic, data, or kindness won’t work on them. Engaging is the very trap they want you to fall into.

In 2019, a few months after my father’s passing, I had just taken over the business he had started in 2014. A former customer reached out, saying he’d left his job and was now “helping” small businesses such as ours to grow.

Now, I never met him but my dad had mentioned his name quite a few times, so out of respect, I agreed to meet him.

A week later, he dropped by in my office and sat across from me for 45 minutes. He never went about to inquire about mybusiness. Instead, he delivered a nonstop speech about how he’d rescued companies, boosted profits, and outsmarted competitors.

After some time, it was clear to me that he was either pitching for a job or a consulting assignment, assuming I was vulnerable, grieving, inexperienced, and easy to impress.

Sensing that I was not rebutting to his speech, hebegan describing his “work with Ola in 2016,”. He explained on how he collaborated with all the regional heads to improve profitability.

The problem? I was one of those regional heads at Ola in 2016, and I had never seen this man in Ola nor did anyone mention his name during casual chats.

He had built an entire story from thin air and, by chance, tried selling it to the one person who knew it was fake. Internally, I was amused, but I stayed calm. I listened, smiled, and let him keep talking.

When the meeting ended, I excused myself politely as my team started to arrive. On his way out, he chatted with my Operations Head, who later came to my office looking puzzled and to ask “Why had he come over?”

When I explained, he laughed. “That’s funny. I told him you were a regional head at Ola for two years. He suddenly went quiet and excused to say he was late for another meeting.”

Luckily, I never heard from him again.

That experience taught me something vital: when you’re dealing with a “Deep Narcissist,” confrontation never works. Their world is fragile and false, held together by illusion. Poking holes in it only invites drama and makes you look like the aggressor. The best way to handle them is to let the truth surface on its own.

When you encounter someone faking competence or confidence, resist the urge to expose them. Instead, follow three quiet steps:

1. Identify the False Front: Notice the signs of grandiosity. Are they vague about specifics? Are they exploiting a perceived weakness in you?
2. Become the Calm Observer: Don’t argue, correct, or react. Stay polite, composed, and quietly curious. Their ego will eventually overextend itself.
3. Let the Truth Do the Work: You don’t have to expose them. Reality always catches up through genuine results, background, or a passing comment.

The fragile world of a narcissist cannot survive real contact with truth. You don’t have to destroy it. You only have to let it dissolve on its own